You will always know -Advocating

Shoved against a wall, by a man three times his size, defenceless, wordless and shaking with fear.

One day when J-man was in Grade One, not quite 7 seven yrs old, his regular teacher was away for the day. He had a substitute teacher that day, a well respected, old school guy with years of experience.

I was waiting for the home bell to sound, watching the class play a last minute game of scuttle-ball. As the bell sounded the teacher called the winning team (J-mans team) and sent the kids to collect their bags.
J-man was so excited by his teams victory, the excitement and hype of an energetic ball game and by the fact that a long school day was finally over.
I watched as he grabbed a small soft plastic witches hat and scuttled it sideways across about 4 metres.
I watched as his substitute teacher grabbed him up by his little polo shirt collar, and rammed him up against the brick wall of his classroom, screaming in his face.
"You are just a naughty, nasty, little boy"
"You are bad"
"I've had enough of you today".

The teacher, fully 3 times the size of my little guy, with a military style buzz-cut, red, angry face and fists clenched thrust J-man aside and stalked off to collect the other sports gear.
I was so stunned I didn't even absorb what I had seen.
J-man cried.
I got his bag, and waited for the teacher, who addressed me with the same level of anger and scorn.
"Are you the mother? Did you see what he did? I should have known you'd take his side. He could have killed someone there !" (Yeah! with a soft plastic witches hat and all his 6 yr old strength!)

I took my little boy home, cried and wondered what to do next.

The next day I was at the school early to speak with the regular teacher. For some reason I still couldn't comprehend what I saw, what I heard.
I felt silly for making a fuss... (let me tell you now, if I saw that sort of shit now I would rip his lungs out before the witches hat fell to the ground, but I was young, scared and overwhelmed :-)

I told the teacher what had happened, what I'd witnessed, that my little boy had cried himself to sleep and wet his pants in fear that the 'angry yelling man' would be back again the next day.
I told her I didn't want to make trouble.
And she stopped me there.
She told me the most important thing anyone has ever told me. The most essential thing that I have clung to and held to my heart since that day.

She said,

Twenty years from now, these teachers, this principal, will not remember your name. 
But you will always know, forever, that you stepped up and advocated for your child.

From a truly awful experience came the most important words.

If you have a child, special needs or not, there will be moments where you are called to step up and make a fuss, or to be quiet and tell your child it is okay to be treated in such a way.

Have you hit that point in your parenting when you have had to choose to make a fuss?

Bob says it best

Crickets have gone beyond chirping and moved into a full orchestral serenade.
Yes I have been silent, and in truth, even now, I don't really know what to say.
When I am struggling I find it hard to write, and right now, struggling is an understatement.

And so, I shall hand the microphone over to someone who has a way with words.
Mr Bob Marley

Take care my lovely readers 

xxx

On Ladybird Wings

..

She knew she had only two days to make this work.
Two days to spark a chance encounter. 
Two days to lead the conversation down a path not easily travelled.
Two days to grow a friendship.
That is a lot of work for one little Angel Ladybird Princess.

Sweet Imogen made sure that her Mummy and I sat next to each other at the Digital Parents Conference. She whispered in her Mummy's ear "Trust her".
She whispered in my ear "Listen... please listen".

And with a flutter of her little green wings (because only princess ladybirds can wear the colour green so beautifully), she made magic. Her Mummy trusted, I listened, and together we made a plan for this years Princess Ladybird brooches.

..

Beautiful angel Imogen did an awesome job, I'm sure you will agree.

Please visit Imogen's Angels and purchase a brooch. 

This is important to me. 

Let the little ladybug love shine in!

You can read lovely Imogen's story here. 

Love and blessings to all the bugs out there. 
Much love to Imogen's Mummy, Daddy and brothers. xxx

Pinterest - Ocean Love

On a day when I really ought to be in bed catching up on night-shift sleep, one innocent click leads to another click, then another , until my mind is full of beautiful inspiring things.

Some of today's Pinterest love - Blue Ocean theme

So true, my ocean is very rarely smooth. But how boring would that be anyway!

how softly that sand would cradle my feet

Unconditional Love.

Like the waves on the shore, simple, peaceful and absolutely immovable in their determination to return, no matter how rocky or hostile the reception. 

xxx

I would hire a little boat just to steer through that heart.. nature knows what it's doing!

Slight detour even though still ocean based -if you have never googled Dogs Underwater by Seth Casteel , you are a crazy person. I will make it easy for you -
* GOOGLE WHAT SHE SAID *

 Amazing photographer. If you see his book in a store, pick it up. I challenge you to not be making moooshy, nawwww faces as you look through it. Then buy it. You are welcome.

Animal cuteness lead to this-  I think this is an otter. I don't know .. it is definitely a Mumma with her baby. A Mumma with her baby who she is both protecting and showing to me for more Mooooshy-faceness.
Nawww

Loving my little ocean departure for the afternoon. 
Find me on Pinterest under lybliss .. if you need an invitation to join, you can email me.

One last pic for you, something to keep in mind as you step boldly forth into the life you want to live :

In life you can never please everyone. There will always be someone who thinks you are mistaken, thinks they know better. There will always be someone who wants you to conform to their values and way of life. But to truly step out and be yourself, you must lose sight, in fact you must purposely turn your eyes away from their shoreline and find your own bliss.
You must.

Love to all, I am so truly blessed to have you all in my life. 

challenging herself

She stands in line, so patiently, for so long she starts think it isn't worth it.
She watches as others fail, fall off halfway, slide into the chilly depths.
She starts to shake and bounce and fairly vibrate with the need to know if she has what it takes to make the distance.

  the line up

 waiting for the lifeguard to say "go"

 through the rabbit hole

between the soldiers

around the... ??? what the heck is that?

around the 'thing' and more soldiers while being sprayed down

finally the end is in sight

up the slippery slope then... 

down the slippery dip

swimming back to the starting line...

"repeat as necessary"

happy school holidays 

xxxxx

Knowledge is power

A small boy holds a lump of gray plastic up to his teacher.

"Do you know what this is ?" he asks earnestly.
Teacher smiles and answers "Yes J-man, it's a shark!"

photo source - saucy sprinkles xxx

Small boy tries again.. "But do you know what sort of shark it is?"
Teachers tips head to the head thoughtfully and replies, "well, I think it is a great white shark."

Small boy states urgently:
"No actually, it is a Nurse shark, which isn't the same as a grey nurse shark. It's a bottom dwelling shark, found  on shallow reefs and mangroves swamps in sub-tropical waters. It is a nocturnal hunter and eats mainly crustaceans, molluscs, tunicates, sea snakes, and other fish, particularly stingrays."

Teacher smiles vacantly and nods head.

The small boy knows she didn't 'get it'

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

As each of our kids reaches the end of Yr 6, The Man I married and I take just that one child away for a few days. A few days when they have us all to themselves, when they call the shots and when we, as parents get to really focus on the new teenagery adult who is emerging. It is always a revelation, exciting and a true delight.
My wonderful parents have come each time and house-sat (we can't call it babysitting -very 'not-cool' to be Babysat for the remaining children, we just explain Nanna and Pop are house-sitting and almost as a side interest, making sure the other three kids stay alive for the week).

We took J-man to Queensland and ALL he wanted to do was go to Seaworld and see the sharks.

The plane -ho-hum
The hired car -ho-hum
The flash apatrment -ho-hum

The entrance to seaworld - Exciting.
The penguin display meant the sharks were nearby

Then the absolute havana
The underground shark viewing cave.





This photo of Sea World is courtesy of TripAdvisor

Down we went into a concrete cave
and the little boy who held my heart came alive..
Several school groups had come to Seaworld that day.

Our sweet boy, so sure of his information and authority gave impromptu lectures to these school groups for over an hour.
Pointing out sharks who camouflage on the seabed in the sand and their plans when some yummy food strolls by.
Talking about how sharks use all their senses to find their prey and how they show their alertness.
Calmly explaining that the people who had paid for a 'diving with the sharks experience" were in no danger as a) the sharks had already been fed ... and
 b) The divers didn't resemble any of the sharks known prey.



This photo of Sea World is courtesy of TripAdvisor



The man I married and I found a seat at the back of the cave. We settled down and watched him share his passion.

And when he had enough,  he just walked out like it was no big deal.

If you asked me to speak, spontaneously to 4 or 5 groups of young kids for an hour I would be beside myself, worrying that I wasn't enough, that my knowledge wasn't enough.
My boy, my sweet boy just knew he was
ENOUGH

And he was.

He still is. 

Happy 19th birthday J-man
xxx 

We are all abnormal - Light it up Blue

We are all abnormal in some way.

 Which really makes us all totally normal.

The month of April is Autism Awareness month.
In our home we are aware, daily of the effects of Autism.
And yet, in our home, we forget that 'autism' is a frowned upon diagnosis.
We have been blessed with 4 gorgeous kids, each quirky in their own unique way. To some, more than one may be slip-sliding on the spectrum.
To others none of our children fit the 'autistic' profile.

To us, our kids are all 'normal', they are all we've known. There are differences, like in any family, but because these are our kids and we have been living and breathing the spectrum for all this time, often we forget it is not 'normal' for everyone'
Until our son sells his shoes at the pub.

or gives impromptu lectures at seaworld.

Until a 'friend' tells me he should be in a group home.
Until someone points out that our normal is not 'normal'.

Research shows that about 1 in 100 children, almost 230 000 Australians, have an Autism Spectrum Disorder and that it is more prevalent in boys than girls. 


This year we are striving not only for awareness but also for acceptance. For all who slip'n'slide along the spectrum, and for the families and support people who are trying their very best to give their ASD person the best the world can offer.

Please join me this April as we open our hearts and minds in acceptance of all the blessings in our world.
Even the ones who now have no shoes.

xxxx